Zero Dollar Beauty

Zero Dollar Beauty

What is the value of beautiful?

They will make you think it’s priceless

The joke is on you

You can be beautiful and still be lifeless

 

Laugh out loud…stupid girl

You went and changed for nothing

Relaxed your hair, changed how you dress

Your need to please is disgusting

 

He still doesn’t like who you are

You still are not his type

You don’t even like who you are

You need validation to feel alright

 

He hates that you mismanage money

You lack focus and self esteem

He hates how emotional you are

How everything he does seems mean

 

He hates how you think, how you speak

And how you breath

The value of your beauty is steadily decreasing

You should probably leave

 

Other people tell you you’re pretty

Now you don’t know how to react

You think if they got to know the real you

They’d probably take it back

 

Beauty means nothing

It has zero value in this life

It’s the least important trait needed to be a good wife

It’s the least important thing needed to have a meaningful life.

-Damonique Wright 2018

Who’s looking out for us?

Disclaimer:  I haven’t written like this in years!  I used to be a great writer and even took AP English.  Excuse me while I freshen up my skills and just consider this a warm up post. 

 “Minority”:  The smaller number or part, especially a number that is less than half the whole number.

Why are women considered the minority when we are 50.8% of the U.S. population?  Why are black women considered the minority of black people when we outnumber black men 91:100?  Because of these unreasonable statistics, black women are the bottom of the totem pole; the minority of the minority groups.  By definition women are the majority, however, per Huffington Post, “Being a ‘minority’ is not about numbers. It is about social power. A group that outnumbers the ‘majority’ but lacks power is a ‘minority’ ” (Turner).  What this means is that of all the power in this country between those of European and African descent black women have the least.  The hierarchy goes white man, white woman, black man, black woman.

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Despite the fact that women have more education then men in both races, we are still seen as the inferior sex.  Black women, in particular have to deal with stereotypes and mistreatment from everyone, even the men whom they birthed, raised, defend, and love, while also having to struggle with societies demands and expectations of what they believe a black woman is and should be.

  • Angry black woman
  • Baby mama
  • Multiple “baby daddies”
  • Single mom
  • Unwed
  • Nappy hair
  • Weaves
  • Masculine
  • Ghetto
  • Hood rat
  • Low self esteem
  • Identity Crisis

How did this happen?  Why do I feel self conscious every time I walk out the house with my two kids without my engagement ring on?  Why do I feel like people are judging me and thinking I’m another single black mom with multiple kids?  Why do I have to try extra hard not to be too assertive at work or I’ll be seen as abrasive?  Why do I feel like as I am not seen as feminine or as a person?  Why am I criticized so harshly for the same things white women do?  There are single white women with children by multiple men.  They are white women with attitudes.  How did these become black women issues?  Why do we have to defend these stereotypes from other black men when instead, they should be defending us?

I’ve done some research and have come up with some theories as to why black women are in the position we are in society with regard to how we are treated and viewed by everyone.  I get frustrated and hurt being a black woman and being held to a higher standard than everyone else.  Everything about us (character, parenting, reactions…etc) is, criticized, picked apart, and used against us as a way to justify our mistreatment.  We have made great strides with regard to entrepreneurship, education, parenting, earned income…etc, but somehow that’s not enough.

This is why I’ve created this blog.  I will touch on all of these topics and more.  I have so much to say about this and 34 plus years of experiences to share.  I hope to  engage some meaningful dialog and even be able to share experiences of other black women in hopes that even if it doesn’t change how the world looks at us, it can help change how we look at us.

 

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  1. Turner, Caroline. “Are Women ‘Minorities’?” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 3 July 2017, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/are-women-minorities_us_595a91a0e4b0f078efd98be3.

Intro to my Complicated life

I’ll start by introducing myself.  Just call me, “D.W” for now.  I am an almost 35 year old mother of two.  I decided to start this blog just to illustrate what it’s like to be a black woman in society…especially a white and male dominated society where we are constantly being stereotyped and forced to fit into predetermined standards of beauty, professionalism, and feminism.  I hope you can relate or learn a few things.

Experience the everyday life of being a black woman, mother, daughter, sister, partner, and everything else we have to be.

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